Savers versus spenders – the great divide

Five tips to help couples bridge the gap on their financial attitudes

We’re all different when it comes to our perspectives on spending. Some people have no problem saving all their extra pennies, and some people spend what they have without thinking about the future. While differences make the world go round, conflicting thoughts on money matters can lead to tension in relationships. If you and your partner find yourselves at opposite ends of the saving versus spending spectrum, these tips can help you meet in the middle.

1. Understand each other’s differences

You’re buying a new car together. The spender wants all the upgrades, while the saver is just fine with the base model. When emotions run high, it can be difficult to see where your partner is coming from. The truth is, our Budgeting with Partnerattitudes about money are deeply rooted. Perhaps you or your partner is stingier with spending because there was less to go around growing up. Perhaps the person who is free with money gets an emotional reward from spending. Try to take a step back and discuss the reasoning behind your behaviour. It’s always easier to negotiate when you try to validate each other’s feelings, instead of assigning blame.

2. Set goals you can agree on

As a saver, it can seem irritating if your partner is constantly making purchases you deem frivolous. Creating a spending plan as a couple – with shared goals in mind – can help bring you together around common values. For example, say you agree that taking a trip overseas or buying a home is your biggest priority. You may want to consider how much you’ll need for that expense and factor how long it will take you to save that amount. With that savings goal in mind, it will probably be a whole lot easier to pass up unnecessary indulgences.

It is possible for partners with different spending styles to find a middle ground.

3. Establish a system for bill payment

When your bills roll in each month, avoid the last-minute scramble by setting parameters on who will pay each bill if you manage your finances using separate accounts. Perhaps you each cover half of your mortgage or rent, one of you pays the auto insurance and the other covers hydro. Since these expenses are generally fixed, setting up a system for handling bills up-front gives you one less thing to worry (fight) about.

4. Set a threshold for joint purchases

Every couple has a different way of structuring their finances, and sometimes, it takes a bit of trial and error. Some people keep separate accounts and split everything down the middle, while others pool all their resources. Other couples have four accounts between them: one joint for savings, one joint for everyday expenses and two individual accounts for whatever’s left (fun money). Whichever system you decide is best for you, you may want to consider setting a limit on the amount you can spend on a joint purchase without consulting each other. Discussing big-ticket purchases with your partner before you take the plunge is an easy way to avoid a disagreement.

5. Call for backup

Sometimes, reaching out to an impartial third party is the best way to solve financial disputes. I can help by talking to you about your goals and determining the best way to structure your finances to suit your needs. With a customized financial plan in tow, you’ll have a solid foundation for the decisions you make about your money.

With a common vision for your future and the right financial action plan, it’s possible for partners with different spending styles to find a middle ground.

Five important money matters to discuss with your partner

When it comes to choosing a partner, everyone has a list of qualities they just can’t live without. A recent poll, revealed that having a financially responsible partner is a priority for both millennial (88 per cent) and Discuss Finances with Partnerbaby boomer (92 per cent) survey participants.

Despite the desire for financial compatibility in relationships, money can be a source of friction for both new and established couples. While it’s best to understand your partner’s financial picture before joining accounts, engaging in regular conversation about your finances is always beneficial.

Open communication and setting clear goals for your future can help you avoid conflict on the topic, but it can be overwhelming to start the conversation if you’re not sure where to begin. Here are five fundamental money matters you may want to address with your partner.

A recent poll, revealed that having a financially responsible partner is a priority for both millennial (88 per cent) and baby boomer (92 per cent) survey participants.

1. Discuss your assets

Having a grasp on your total combined assets (including salary, savings, investments, insurance and property) is important to making financial decisions as a couple. This simple discussion is an essential starting point in making a realistic plan for savings, spending and future goals.

2. Understand your debts

Managing debt effectively is a key aspect of wealth building. It’s important to know the total amount of your partner’s debt (such as credit card, line of credit, mortgage and student loan debt), discuss whether the debt will become a joint responsibility, and determine how it will affect your budget. It’s also a good idea to discuss your partner’s credit score, as it will affect your ability to get credit as a couple.

3. Set a spending plan

Creating a joint spending plan may shine a light on any differences between spending styles – perhaps you’re a saver, but your partner opens their wallet a bit more freely. Taking account of your individual and combined monthly expenses can start a realistic discussion about how to allocate any surplus – even if it involves some compromise.

4. Strategize your savings

Defining your individual and joint savings priorities is another essential part of building your budget, and ensuring that you’re well positioned to meet your goals. It’s also important to discuss which type of savings vehicle will best suit your needs; consider factors such as your tolerance for fluctuations in the value of your investments, and the amount of time you have to invest.

5. Plan for your future

Is travel a priority for you and your partner? Perhaps you’re dreaming of buying that cottage you always wanted, or you just want to make sure you can retire comfortably. If you don’t discuss your goals for the future then it’s hard to make them happen. While your dreams may differ, starting a dialogue can help you compromise so you can set your plans in motion.

Get a second opinion

As you consider these factors with your partner, I can provide a professional opinion on the best approach to help you achieve your financial goals. I can provide a holistic assessment of your joint financial picture, and offer a variety of planning services including cash-flow planning and investment analysis.